F the Police

Little Rock, AR - Hospital officials say 10 children drank windshield wiper fluid after a staffer at a Scott daycare mistakenly put the liquid in a refrigerator and served it. Doctors estimate the children, ages 2 to 7, drank about an ounce of the blue fluid late Thursday afternoon before realizing it tasted wrong. Only one child remained hospitalized this morning, after blood samples showed "measurable levels" of methanol, a highly toxic alcohol that can induce comas and cause blindness. Julie Munsell, a spokeswoman for the state Department of Human Services, identified the daycare as being run out of the home of Carolyn Bynum in Scott. Bynum declined to comment about the incident.
**I thank God in heaven every day that my kid is old enough to go to public school now, rather than a daycare run out of someone’s home. Although going to a public school increases his chances of being a victim to some crazy-ass, pimply teen who shoots up a school because mommy and daddy don’t love him, I am glad that no one at his school puts windshield wiper fluid in the fridge and then serves it to the kids. Seriously, how fucking stupid do you have to be to 1.) Put wiper fluid in the fridge and 2.) Serve that shit to kids ?!? There’s a reason manufacturers make wiper fluid that unearthly blue color…so that people WON’T FUCKING DRINK IT!! Ok, I’ll give this person the benefit of the doubt. Even if they did legitimately think the stuff in the fridge was some kind of drink, what beverage can you think of that is that fluorescent blue color? Also, a quick sniff of that stuff would immediately let someone know that it was some kind of chemical. Manufacturers do everything humanly possible to make sure something like this never happens. They make the stuff blue…they make it smell like shit…they even put a huge warning right on the package...DO NOT USE INTERNALLY or something like that. You have to be exceptionally stupid to ignore all the signs that this stuff was not intended to be consumed. Dumbass.

ROME (Reuters) - Italian researchers believe they have found the remains of a “vampire" in Venice, buried with victims of a plague which swept the city in the 16th century. The skeleton was unearthed in a mass grave from the Venetian plague of 1576 on Lazzaretto Nuovo, which lies around three km (2 miles) northeast of Venice and was used as a sanitorium for plague sufferers.
**Though they found only skeletal remains, an artist’s conception (pictured above) was commissioned to help identify the body.

JOHANNESBURG - Gangs of South African men are raping lesbians in the belief it will "cure" the women's sexual orientation, an aid agency said Friday. NGO ActionAid said in a report titled "Hate Crimes: the rise of corrective rape in South Africa" lesbians were increasingly at risk of rape, particularly in South African townships where homosexuality is largely taboo. South Africa has one of the world's most progressive constitutions and became the first country in Africa to allow gay marriage in 2006, but homosexuality is still widely frowned upon and same-sex unions are often decried as "un-African." "We get insults every day, beatings if we walk alone, you are constantly reminded that you deserve to be raped," ActionAid quoted one lesbian as saying. "They yell, 'if I rape you then you will go straight, you will buy skirts and start to cook because you will have learnt how to be a real woman'."
**”Corrective rape?!?” That’s a contradiction in terms like I’ve never heard. They are trying to “cure” lesbians like they have some kind of disease. You know the worst part? I think if you ask a lot of conservative Christians here in the US, they might agree that homosexuals can be “fixed.” People-homosexuality is an expression of the way a person feels about themselves and their world, not a disease to be cured. The article says South Africa has one of the world’s most progressive constitutions, but it appears that some men in that country haven’t seen a copy yet. Nobody deserves to be raped, and rape certainly isn’t going to turn a lesbian straight. “If I rape you then you will go straight, you will buy skirts and start to cook because you will have learnt how to be a real woman." Yeah, that’s super progressive! Who knew a country like South Africa would allow people to be treated so unfairly..…oh yeah.

GENEVA, Ala. - The investigation into the recent life of Alabama gunman Michael McLendon paints a troubling portrait of a depressed young man who couldn't hold a job and was a self-proclaimed survivalist who ordered instructional videos on how to commit violence. In the home, where McLendon set his mother's body on fire to begin his killing spree, District Attorney Gary McAliley said investigators found the DVDs and a spiral notebook containing names of people McLendon had worked with and list of things he felt they had done wrong to him. "I don't think anybody could have anticipated this by looking at him and interacting with him," McAliley said. "But certainly he had a volcano inside of him."

In the remains of the house, investigators found dozens of soot-covered DVDs on how to commit acts of violence, including how to shoot into a moving car and building a homemade gun silencer. McAliley said they appeared to be serious, not a joke.
**Yeah, we had no idea the depressed, unemployed man with a passion for shooting guns, who owned dozens of violent DVDs and kept a notebook of people who had “done wrong to him” would do something like this. Are you fucking serious ?!? Look, I am no FBI profiler, but this guy had ticking timebomb written all over him. The District Attorney says, “I don't think anybody could have anticipated this..” Wrong! Anybody who was even remotely paying attention to this whackjob would have known he was going to go off at some point. Once again, the writing was on the wall in HUGE LETTERS, but nobody read it. How is it that all the news organizations are able to put the pieces of this guy together in just a couple days while the sheriff’s office in his own town was completely caught with its pants down? Hey Alabama law enforcement – Barney Fife called and said that was some SHITTY POLICE WORK.

SASKATOON, Saskatchewan (Reuters) - Six high-risk prisoners escaped a Canadian jail last summer after spending four months chipping a path to freedom with nail clippers and other makeshift tools, according to a government report released on Thursday. While some inmates played cards at a carefully positioned table to block the guards' view, others chipped away at the wall, finally breaking through with a steel shower rod. They then used braided blankets and bedsheets to scale a wall of the compound and escape. "Idle hands are the Devil's tools," said a Saskatchewan government report.
**So that’s what happens to all the nail clippers confiscated by TSA at American airports – they’re shipped to Canadian convicts. Seriously, I know Canadians are a soft-spoken people, but after several murderers escape their prison system with grooming implements, what is the Canadian government’s response? "Idle hands are the Devil's tools." No, apparently NAIL CLIPPERS are the Devil’s tools, EH? 82 prison employees worked in the section where the six inmates escaped, and several guards admitted suspicions that inmates were “planning something,” but no one was ever interviewed. That’s some high-quality investigative work, eh. Maybe you should turn off the hockey game and do your fucking job.

LISBON (Reuters) - Alarmed by high death rates from strokes in Portugal, deputies from the ruling Socialist party submitted a bill to parliament Friday to slash the use of salt in bread, blamed for many blood pressure problems. The country's key dietary staple -- dried salted cod that is rehydrated and cooked in many different ways -- has made the Portuguese accustomed to using more salt in food than other nations, and bakers add generous amounts to their dough. Strokes kill up to 20,000 people a year, accounting for some 20 percent of deaths in Portugal. The bill calls for salt content to be cut to a maximum of 14 grammes per kg, or by about 25 percent, introducing fines of up to 5,000 euros ($6,435) for exceeding this.
**If the Portuguese people like their bread and dried salted cod so much, do you REALLY think a government mandate is going to stop them from consuming it? It’s going to be like Prohibition was in America. Underground speakeasies are going to pop up everywhere in Portugal – guys passing bread and fish through a slot in a back alley door. Rather than legislating people’s dietary habits, wouldn’t it just be easier to encourage people to eat less salty bread and cod? Idiots.